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An Arab diplomat visiting the U.S. for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was unused to the salt in American foods (french fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies etc.) and was constantly sending his manservant AbdVoice 1: Answer the phone, please, Hal. Voice 2: I\'m sorry, Dave, I can\'t do that.It is not illegal to speed. (Repealed) Buckner In this small Pearl jewelry town of only 4,000, yard waste may be burned any day except Sunday. Lookin Pearl jewelry g for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com! Excelsior Springs Worrying squirrels is not tolerated. Hard objectsthere once was a lady who was very concerned about her missing parrot. not knowing what to do, she called 911. "you gotta help me find my parrot!" the operator patiently replied, "we can\'t help you with that, ma\'am. this number only deals with emergencies." however, the lady persisted, and then the operator told her not to be concerned, that the parrot should fly back in a few days. then, out of desperation, the lady begged, "but you don\'t understand! the only thing he says is \'here, kitty, kitty\'!!!"

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a farmer in the country notice wedding pearl necklaces d that a gentleman would fish at the lake (close to the farmer\'s house) and would always leave with a stringer full of fish. the fellow had a boat but a fishing pole was not to be seen. a drunk staggers into a diner and orders a couple of eggs. the waiter, suspecting that they\'ve run out, goes back to question the chef. "hey, gus, do we have any more eggs?" gus replies, "i ran out of fresh eggs, i only have two rotten eggs left." the waiter says, "give him the rotten eggs. he\'s so bombed he won\'t kn wedding pearl necklaces ow the difference." gus scrambles up the rotten eggs and heaps on hash browns, sausage and toast. the drunk is so hungry he wolfs down the breakfast without comment. he goes to pay the cashier and asks, "where\'d you get those eggs?" she replies, "we have our own chicken farm." the drunk asks, "do you have a rooster? "no," she says. the drunk replies, "well, you\'d better get one, because some skunk is screwing your chickens."

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two gay gentlemen were walking through a zoo. they came across the gorillas and after a while they noticed that the huge male gorilla had a massive erection. this fascinated the gay men so much they couldn\'t take their eyes off of it. one of the men just could Freshwater Pearl Necklaces n\'t bear it any longer and he reached into the cage to touch it. the gorilla grabbed him, dragged him into the cage and screwed him for six hours non-stop. when he w Freshwater Pearl Necklaces as done, the gorilla threw the gay man back out of the cage. an ambulance was called and the man was taken away to the hospital. the next day his friend visits him in the hospital and asked, "are you hurt?" "am i hurt?" he shouted, "wouldn\'t you be? that big ape hasn\'t called, he hasn\'t written..."OCR - Optical Character Recognition A technology that can take written words and convert them back into computer-readable form, provided they\'re in the right font, using the correct colors sometimes, at the right point size and pitch, dark enough on the

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This simple five question test will help determine how drunk you really are. Begin by answering each of the five questions below truthfully. Then determine your score based on question answer values provided. Lastly, compare your sc white pearl necklace ore to the results for"All generalizations are false." "Time is what keeps everything from happening at once." Seen on an old, beat-up car: "This is not an abandoned vehicle." "Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death" " white pearl necklace Cover me. I\'m changing lanes." "The more people I meet, the moreAll warranties expire upon payment of invoice. All work and no play, will make you a manager. Almost everything in life is easier to get into than to get out of. Always hire a rich attorney. Always leave room to add an explanation if it doesn\'t work out.Hitchhikers Guide theme: The Cerius Cybernetic Corporation was happy to correct the problem of all that icky person-to-person conversation that happens when people actually pick up the phone and talk to each other. So they added the "answering machine,"

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My time is billed at $125 per hour. Please begin your message with your MasterCard or Visa number, card type, and date of expiration. I\'ll get back to you pending credit approval.Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks the first vampire what he would like. T Pearl Sets he first vampire responds, "I vould like some blood." The waitress turns to the second vampire and asks what he would like. ThIn Japan, the hand can be used like a knife. (Heeeeee-YAH! Sound of smashing box of kleenex.) But this method doesn\'t work with a telephone call... (Dial tone.) Introducing the all-new Ginsu answering machine! It cuts, it chops, it slices, it dicesGold\'s Law: If the Pearl Sets shoe fits, it\'s ugly Goldenstern\'s Rules: 1. Always hire a rich attorney. 2. Never buy from a rich salesman. Golden Rule Of Arts And Sciences: Whoever has the gold makes the rules. Gordian Maxim: If a string has one end, it has an
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