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a man is waiting for his wife to give birth. the doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. the son is just a head! but the dad loves his s buy pearl necklaces on and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. after 18 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. with all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol swoooosh! plop!! a torso pops out! the bar is dead silent; then bursts into whoops of joy. the father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. the patrons chant buy pearl necklaces "take another drink!" the bartender continues to shake his head in dismay. swoooosh! plip! plop!! two arms pop out. the bar goes wild. the father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. the patrons chant, "take another drink! take another drink!!" the bartender ignores the whole affair and goes back to polishing glasses, shaking his head" clearly unimpressed by the amazing scenes. by now the boy is getting tipsy, but with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. plop! plip!! two legs pop out. the bar is in chaos. the father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks god. the boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left then staggers to the right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly. the bar falls silent. the father moans in grief. the bartender sighs and says, "he should\'ve quit while he was a head!"

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WinErr 001: Windows loaded - System in danger WinErr 002: No Error - Yet WinErr 003: Dynamic linking error - Your mistake i pearls s now in every file WinErr 004: Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System confused WinErr 006:a man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof. so he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there\'s an ad for "gorilla removers". he calls the number, and the gorilla remover says he\'ll be over in 30 minutes. the gorilla re pearls mover arrives, and gets out of his van. he\'s got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull. "what are you going to do?" the homeowner asks. "i\'m going to put this ladder up against the roof, then i\'m going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roof with this baseball bat. when the gorilla falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. the gorilla will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van." so the guy puts the ladder up, gets the bat and the shotgun and walks towards the ladder. as he gets to the base of the ladder, he hands the shotgun to the homeowner. "what\'s the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner. "if the gorilla knocks me off the roof, shoot the damn dog!"

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symptom - feet cold and wet. solution - glass being held at incorrect an Pearl jewelry gle. rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling. symptom - beer unusually pale and tasteless. solution - glass empty. get someone to buy you another beer. symptom - opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. solution - you have fallen over backward. have yourself lashed to bar. symptom - mouth contains cigarette butts. solution - you have fallen forward. see above. symptom - beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet. solution - mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face. retire to restroom, practice in mirror. symptom - floor bl Pearl jewelry urred. solution - you are looking through bottom of empty glass. get someone to buy you another beer. symptom - floor moving. solution - you are being carried out. find out if you are being taken to another bar. symptom - room seems unusually dark. solution - bar has closed. confirm home address with bartender. symptom - everyone looks up to you and smiles. solution - you are dancing on the table. fall on somebody cushy-looking. symptom - beer is crystal-clear solution - it\'s water. somebody is trying to sober you up. punch him. symptom - hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear. solution - you have been in a fight. apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them symptom - don\'t recognize anyone, don\'t recognize the room you\'re in. solution - you\'ve wandered into the wrong party. see if they have free beer. symptom - your singing sounds distorted. solution - the beer is too weak. have more beer until your voice improves. symptom - don\'t remember the words to the song. solution - beer is just right. play air guitar.

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a man decides to take off early from work and go drinking. he stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. when he enters his house, he doesn\'t want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. half-way up the stairs, he falls over backwards and lands flat on his rear end. that wouldn\'t have been Pearl Wedding Jewelry so bad, except that he had couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets, and they broke, and the broken glass carved up his buttocks terribly. but, he was so drunk that Pearl Wedding Jewelry he didn\'t know he was hurt. a few minutes later, as he was undressing, he noticed blood, so he checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure enough, his behind was cut up something terrible. well, he repaired the damage as best he could under the circumstances, and he went to bed. the next morning, his head was hurting, and his rear was hurting, and he was hunkering under the covers trying to think up some good story, when his wife came into the bedroom. "well, you really tied one on last night," she said. "where\'d you go?" "i worked late," he said, "and i stopped off for a couple of beers." "a couple of beers? that\'s a laugh," she replied. "you got plastered last night. where the heck did you go?" "what makes you so sure i got drunk last night, anyway?" "well," she replied, "my first big clue was when i got up this morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the mirror."

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there once was a lady who was very concerned about her missing parrot. not knowing what to do, she called 911. "you gotta help me find my parrot!" the operator patiently replied, "we can\'t help you with that, ma\'am. this number only deals with emergencies." however, the lady persisted, and then the o Pearl Tin Cup perator told her not to be concerned, that the parrot should fly back in a few days. then, out of desperation, the lady begged, "but you don\'t understand! the only thing he says is \'here, kitty, kitty\'!!!"Patron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I\'ll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem? Patron: There\'s a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won\'t be there this time. Patron: No Pearl Tin Cup , it\'s still there. Waiter: Maybe it\'s theSigns and notices 09 These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. Sign in an office: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left." Sign in a veterinary\'s waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" Sign on
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