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a fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. he stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. when he enters his house, he doesn\'t want to wake anyone, so he photo editing takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. half-way up the stairs, he falls over backwards and lands flat on his rear end. that wouldn\'t have been so bad, except that he had couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets, and they broke, and the broken glass carved up his buttocks terribly. but,he was so drunk photo editing that he didn\'t know he was hurt. a few minutes later, as he was undressing, he noticed blood,so he checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure enough, his behind was cut up something terrible. well, he repaired the damage as best he could under the circumstances, and he went to bed. the next morning, his head was hurting, and his rear was hurting, and he was hunkering under the covers trying to think up some good story, when his wife came into the bedroom. "well, you really tied one on last night," she said. "where\'d you go?" "i worked late," he said, "and i stopped off for a couple of beers." "a couple of beers? that\'s a laugh," she replied, "you got plastered last night. where the heck did you go?" "what makes you so sure i got drunk last night,anyway?" "well," she replied, "my first big clue was when i got up this morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the mirror."

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If you do not know what you\'re doing, do it neatly. If you do not like the answer, you shouldn\'t have asked the question. If you do not photo editing service make dust, you eat dust. If you do not say it, they can\'t repeat it. If you do not understand it, it must be intuitiveDid you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice? Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up? Did you hear about the blonde who was an M.D.--Mentally Deficient? Did you hear about the bSome race horses staying in a st photo editing service able. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I\'ve won 8 of them!" Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I\'ve won 19!!" "Oh that\'s good, but in the last 36 races, I\'ve wothis is true !! it details what to do if an anaconda attacks you. excerpt is from the us government peace corps manual for volunteers working in the amazon jungle. related to the boa constrictor, the anaconda is the largest snake species in the world. it grows to thirty-five feet in length and weighs 300 to 400 pounds. 1. if you are attacked by an anaconda, do not run. the snake is faster than you are. 2. lie flat on the ground. put your arms tight against your sides, your legs tight against one another. 3. tuck your chin in. 4. the snake will begin to nudge and climb over your body. 5. do not panic. 6. after the snake has examined you, it will begin to swallow you from the feet end - always from the feet end. permit the snake to swallow your feet and ankles. do not panic! 7. the snake will now begin to suck your legs into its body. you must lie perfectly still. this will take a long time. 8. when the snake has reached your knees, slowly and with as little movement as possible, reach down, take your knife and very gently slide it into the side of the snake\'s mouth between the edge of its mouth and your leg, then suddenly rip upwards, severing the snake\'s head. 9. be sure you have your knife. 10. be sure your knife is sharp.

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At the time of writing, Microsoft\'s slogan for Windows 95 was "Where do you want to go today?" These are some alternative and probably more truthf online photo editing ul ad slogans for use with Windows. 1. Microsoft gives you Windows - OS/2 give you the whole house. 2. A comJohn was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly online photo editing appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink. "You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is aThe boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously. "What\'s the matter?" grumbled the boss. "Haven\'t you got a sense of humor?" "I don\'The important thing is to ensure wow gold buying in a safe way. As a leading and reliable wow gold provider, we have gained a good reputation from the player all over the world. Lately we have been receiving large and constant wow gold buying order. In recent years, online game has developed rapidly in China. Many people believe that online game produce positive effects on economic growth and we should try our best to promote online game. But what these people fail to see is that online game may bring about a disastrous impact on our life. As for me, I\'m firmly convinced that too much tourists bring harm to the life.

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Which language is right for you? Assembler: You shoot yourself in the foot. Ada: The Department of Defense shoots you in the foot after offering you a blindfold and a last cigarrette. BASIC (interpreted): You shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistoThis is Dan Cassidy\'s answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I\'ve doctored th photo editing websites e tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.Hello? (Pause. Roommate\'s voice:) C\'mon, Matt, we\'re gonna be late! -- Hold on, there\'s someone on the phone! Hello? -- photo editing websites C\'mon, dude! -- Hello? Aaah, whatever... c0pyr|ghtah!aj0kesc0m BEEP!a guy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks, "bartender, got any specials today?" bartender answers, "yes, as a matter of fact we have a new drink, invented by a gynecologist patron of ours. it\'s a mix of pabst blue ribbon beer and smirnoff vodka." the guy asks, "good grief, what do you call that?" the bartender replied, "it\'s a "pabst smir."

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a man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. the bartender looks at him and says, "what\'ll it be buddy?" the man says, "set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." the bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then edit photo the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he\'s doing all this drinking. "you\'d drink them this fast too if you had what i have." the bartender hastily asks, "what do you have pal?" the man quickly replies, "a dollar."Its just not fun when someone else has a great advantage because they donated to the server. After hopping from server to server only to edit photo find the many disadvantages of it, our store realized we greatly missed playing on retail. But since we are just starting out college and we have no job, we could not fund my World of Warcraft addiction. Thus,we started looking for ways I could make money online. This took a lot of research, but in the end we were happy with our results.
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